When I was young, I had a dream of being a marriage counselor. I don’t know why that was the profession I thought I wanted but somehow God must have been working on me even then. Once I graduated from HS, I headed up to college after already falling in love with what I believed to be the man God designed for me. He wasn’t quite ready to settle but once I was away for 1 semester, he changed his mind. I still wanted to be a marriage counselor but being a wife and mother was absolutely my #1 desire. So off to be married I went and out the window went my degree.
10 years and a failed marriage, 2 children and a 24 year 2nd marriage later, I’m finding out that God did have a plan for me to be a counselor (lending ear). His plans are fulfilled even if they look a bit different than in the traditional sense. I may not have that piece of paper but I have a lot of experience.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption,
Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.
How much better to get wisdom than gold! To get understanding is to be chosen rather than silver.
I have learned a lot over the last 45 years of adulthood. I’ve learned that no matter how much you love a person, if that person is not following God’s will then your love is not counted as great. I’ve learned that raising children is hard. They’re cute when they’re born and they hang on your every word but eventually they grow up, get a mind of their own and might stray from your instructions. I’ve learned that marriage is a challenge, regardless of how devoted you are to each other. I’ve learned that even though I think I’m right, more than likely I’m not. I’ve learned that it’s hard to let go when your children create their own families but it’s necessary and the sooner I start, the easier it is for everyone. I’ve learned that it can be more blissful to keep my mouth shut than it is to prove my point. I’ve learned that loving someone is always important but it may have to be from a far. I’ve learned that I must forgive myself for my sins before I will even think about forgiving others for theirs. I’ve learned that it’s not my expectations of others that need to be fulfilled, it’s what God wants for them that’s most important. I’ve learned that hanging in there may seem impossible but God will give me the strength and bless my efforts. Most important lesson I’ve learned is, God has my back, I could not make it through 1 day without him by my side and whenever in doubt, ask Him and wait for His answer.
Experience can be used to fulfill God’s plans!
“Jesus is the only thing that we pursue that doesn’t leave us more empty.” By Jennie Allen
So, at 55 years old, I REALLY didn’t know “ME” until the last few years and I’m still becoming acquainted. What’s changed? My relationship with God has changed. He has allowed me to go through my experiences, which has drawn me closer to him and through the process I found out how important I am to Him. I found out that I’m His, a loved, forgiven, blessed and redeemed child of God.
Growing my relationship with the Lord has changed me.
Now how has that affected me as a wife, mom and grandma “Lollie”. If it wasn’t for my love for the Lord and His devotion to me, I would not be that “MOM” that I need to be. His has been my constant and unconditional love, which has taught me how to do that with my family. He has taught me how to forgive by forgiving. He has taught me boundaries by showing me boundaries and not sheltering me from my choice but loving me through them. He has taught me determination by sticking by my side and giving me the strength to endure the tough times. He has taught me compassion by providing people around me that as shown me compassion. He has taught me how to weather through the storms of relationships by freely giving me grace when I was stubborn and wanted to pull away. And more…… All these things have made me a better wife, mother and grandmother.
2 Corinthians 3:4-6
Such confidence we have through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.
He molded me in my mother’s womb and knew what his plan was and waited patiently for me to figure it out. To reach to Him for a firm relationship. He taught me how to be in relationship. And I’m still learning. And making me better each day, only because of Him.
Just like me, working the ground, planting my flower, tending to the care by giving them the nourishment they need, waiting for the blooms and being amazed at the beauty. The Lord does the same for me. He sets the plan in motion, laying the pathway, plants in me the gifts and courage, feeds me His words and strength, waits patiently for me to grow and loves me forever.
4 years of Waiting patiently for the growth…. involved experience that will be valuable!
Lord, I thank you for loving me and teaching me to hang on, look for what your trying to teach me, learn from my experiences and put it into practice .