Being a round, trying to fit in a square. It’s hard to do!
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
I have always felt different, never quiet fit in. I’m not sure why that is. When I was a child there was a bucket full of differences. I was the tallest never petite. I was shy never life of the party. I was average never over achiever. As an adult things didn’t change much. I would find myself doing things and acting in ways that, in my mind, made me not so different. I was living a life as a christian woman, wife and mother by this time but I didn’t fully get that those little acts of striving to be the same, were called sin.
My son, do not walk in the way with them; hold back your foot from their paths,
Through yet another “different” period of my life, I found myself divorced. The only one in my circle of relationships of course. That truly magnified my difference. I found myself walking off that path. Making decisions that were not aligned with the path that He had laid out for me. Making myself a different path. That child was yearning inside, wanting to be the same as everyone else.
If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.
I was living a life of hidden sin that the world told me was okay. It wanted me, it wanted to own my soul. I felt as if I was a rope being pulled by each end, one being Satan and the other Jesus. Then I was convicted. Convicted of the sin I hid so well. The part of me that fought to be the same now was seeing how being different was more like Jesus. Jesus was not like the world. He lived in it. He loved people in it. But He didn’t conform to it.
And this child wanted to be different like Jesus.
But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.
I entered my path of studying and craving Him. I realized through a hands on project that the clay that He molded me from is meant to be different. If you go to a potters work shop, you will see that no two pieces of work are ever the same. Even if the potter intentionally made the same piece with the same colors and the same shape, there are always slight differences. That is what makes hand made pieces unique. And that is what makes me unique.
Even though I still struggle with the desire to be the same, which means fitting in, I’m grasping the desire more to be different. To be different is to be how He made me.
Lord, I am grateful for all that you have taught me and all that you will continue to teach. I pray that I will fully understand how precious being different is. I pray that I will be able to accept others for their differences. I love and thank you! Amen