3/1/18 Amber Fields Hull: A Beautiful Soul, that is who she is. That is who I see but not for only that reason, simply because she is God’s child. I have known Amber just a few short years. I have seen a person who was so broken bloom into a woman who realizes her worth in God eyes. A person who takes all the past ugly and is making the future beautiful.
My past is shameful to say the least. I was a drug addict from the time I was 15 years old. I didn’t find true Recovery until I was 30. By 20 I was a full-fledged junkie who would do anything to maintain my buzz. I was a natural at lying, stealing, and manipulating doctors to get an unheard of amount of pills. I am not proud of who I was. The cops would always tell my grandparents that I would end up in 1 of 2 places: prison or 6 feet under. I believed it myself! Nobody had any hope in me and I had no hope in myself. That is until God redeemed me and all my hope is now in him! This is my story…
I was raised in a good home by my grandparents. My mom died when I was 6 months old and my dad was an alcoholic so he gave me to my grandparents. I’m so grateful they raised me. I was taught right from wrong, went to church regularly, and knew good morals. But that wasn’t enough to protect me from myself.
I met my first husband while I was selling pills. We got along great and loved each other very much. However, we loved the drugs way more. A couple years after we started dating we were both arrested on drug charges. I was in jail for almost 4 months. This was the cleanest I had been since I was a teenager. I started reading the bible and attending Celebrate Recovery every Wednesday, mostly because they brought us coffee. Even though I went for the coffee, the seed was planted.
Once out of jail we actually stayed sober together for a couple years. We started going to church, got married, and had goals for a future. But my old ways kept trying to creep back in. One night I begged him to get high with me. He finally agreed and we did way too much considering we hadn’t done any in a while. Rob (my husband) told me he was going to lay down for a nap. I thought nothing of it and ran to the store. When I got back and went to check on him it was something I will never forget. He was laying in his own fluids, gurgling, and as I tried to wake him up I realized something was very wrong. By the time the paramedics came it was way too late. They tried but Rob was braindead. I would make the decision to pull the plug that evening. I will never forget that night. The picture of him lying in our bed is forever engrained in my mind. I still miss him every day. I thought my life was over when I lost Rob. But a few months later I finally let God help me.
I had made the decision to try and get sober again and this time I wanted to stay that way. I checked myself into detox and was there for a week. Once I got out I knew I needed to stay on track. I changed all my friends, didn’t visit the places I used to, and started attending meetings every chance I could. I began attending the Celebrate Recovery that Juanita (the lady who came to jail) helped lead at. I dove into a step study, built a support team, took leadership training as much as I could, and built a relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I realized that if I kept coming back I could be successful in recovery.
God really blessed me by putting Juanita in my life. When I was 6 months sober I approached her about an idea I had to honor Rob and others lost to overdose. She listened to me and believed in me. We began meeting once a week and the Rally4Recovery came to fruition. That September we hosted our first Rally4Recovery. We had a free spaghetti dinner, worship music, live testimonies, a kid’s zone, a remembrance walk for those lost to addiction, and a 5k race. It was a weekend long event that was for the whole family. It was extremely successful because God showed up! This September will be the 3rd annual Rally4Recovery and it’s amazing to see what God does each year!
When I first lost my husband I ran into a guy, Brandon, whom I had went to elementary school with. In fact, he was my first ever boyfriend. He became my best friend during that dark time. We decided to get sober together and eventually began dating. It was very rocky at times but God had his hand in it and he gave us both the opportunity to go through step studies. I know that is what saved our relationship and I’m so blessed we listened! It’s amazing the progress we can make if we let God have control of our lives.
In August of 2017 I found out I was pregnant. I was perplexed. Rob and I had tried for 10 years to have a baby to no avail so I just assumed I couldn’t have kids. I was shocked but so excited I could barely stand it! God blessed us with the most beautiful baby girl on April 25, 2017. She was beyond perfect. She brings us so much joy!
Brandon had another 8 year old daughter from a previous relationship that he only got to see every other weekend. God gave us the opportunity to step up and get primary custody of her so we ran with it! We adore her and I love her just like my own. She is an amazing child with a bright future. You see God is in the chain breaking business. We never thought, because of our pasts, that we could win custody of her. God is faithful!
We have dreamed of being homeowners for years but because of bad credit due to our addiction we thought it would be a long while before that dream would be a reality. Boy God is amazing isn’t he? He placed a couple in our lives who took a chance on us. We are now homeowners! Our children can grow up in a house that we own and that just makes me ecstatic.
I worked to pay off a great car when I first got sober so my car is dependable. Brandon, however, was driving an old beat up Toyota that was dangerous to drive. One night at bible study our friends asked us to stick around for a few minutes. They went on to tell us they had prayed about what to do with a 2012 Chevy car they had and God had told them to GIVE it to us. I had become so anxious about him driving that old car but why? God has always taken care of us!
Brandon and I became husband and wife on January 29th, 2018. We were married at our church (Grace Baptist) right before our Monday night Celebrate Recovery meeting. We were surrounded by all of our friends and family who had worked together to pull off the most perfect wedding. We didn’t pay for a thing and yet it was absolutely spectacular! We had a beautiful cake, a photographer, an amazing dinner, and I wore a stunning dress. You see, when you make things right in God’s eyes, he works out the details.
Ever since Juanita and I hosted the first Rally4Recovery our goal has been to start a recovery center in our town. We now have that center, all glory to God! We named the center A*R*T (Achieving Recovery Together). We are working hard to combat the addiction epidemic. We hope to help as many people as possible find recovery. We want to serve those that most people have given up on just like who I was before I found recovery….
We will soon be starting an Angel Program at our local emergency room. We will visit with those that overdose and talk to them about their recovery options. Our goal is to get them into rehab but if nothing else we will be planting a seed. In April we are having an art contest with our local schools for Alcohol Awareness month. The students will decorate paper grocery bags and return them to us. They will then be given out to customers by our local grocery stores. Anything we can do to get the message to our community! In December we will be having a Christmas party for local kids whose parents are in rehab because of drugs/alcohol. To celebrate them for one day and hopefully let them have a good day without worry of the future.
All these things I have been able to accomplish have nothing to do with me. God has blessed me with every single one of these opportunities. None of this would be possible without him. He has blessed me beyond anything I ever imagined. Beyond anything I have ever hoped for. I want to glorify his name in all that I do. Having a servant’s heart is important to me. I owe God everything. I want to be his vessel. I want to spread his love.
I now am a certified Adult Peer Support Specialist, I have my recovery support specialist diploma, and will soon be a licensed recovery coach. God has made me what I am today. I am no longer a hopeless junkie. I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and most importantly a child of God.
Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.
Isiah 4:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Lord, Thank you for placing me in Amber’s life and in the lives of others who continue to amaze me in their growth and service to you. Also helping me remember that with You everything is possible. Amen!