Got Questions

#fmf

So many questions! I don’t have 1, I have many!

To watch a child growing, their curiosity is explosive. They are questioning everything. What is this? What does this do? Who is that? Where did it go? Why? Why? Why? I may not have all the same questions but I still have them. Why is one of the greatest.

In my life many questions have arose. Some I get full answers to, some only partially and some I will have to wait till I face my Father in Heaven face to face. And I have to be okay with that, I don’t have much other choice.

There are easy questions! Where are we going on vacation?

There are hard questions! Why did you choose to do such a horrible thing?

But whether easy or hard, God gave us a tool to use to help us manage the answers. Bible! He gave us someone to direct us to peace in the questions. Jesus! He walks with us still as we live out those answers. Holy Spirit!

Jeremiah 33:3 

Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.

We may not always have easy questions and we may not always get the answers we want or we may just have to live out the questions to find the answers, all the while living with the understanding that God always will answer us.

3 Stages of our Relationship

The man I don’t remember

The man I didn’t know

The man I won’t ever forget

This past weekend. On Father’s Day weekend. We celebrated his life.

Here is what I am left with as he has gone to sit with Jesus.

Dad

The man that we are celebrating today, I call Dad.  If I have one regret for the last 2.5 years it would be that he never heard me call him “dad”. I had an excuse and some would say “it was understandable.” But I still wish I’d had a chance to say it to him.  I know he is watching me and he is able now to see what I said about him to so many others and his heart would be full.

2.5 years ago, I received a phone call asking me to call him. Honestly, I hadn’t given him a second thought for so many years.  The first thing that I did was tell my husband and then we both started goggle searching to see what type of man he was.  Making sure he wasn’t an ax murderer or something but what we found was a kind man who gave to others for many years.  So I called him.

Yes, it was awkard at first but we talked several times and then decided he and Jackie could come to KY and we could meet.  I knew he was sick already at this point and I knew that God always has a plan greater than my own and even if His plan was solely to give a man with much regret and little time a peace and happiness that he so longed for, then I could give that.  But as I said, God always has a plan greater than my own.  In Jeremiah 29, it says “ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

He shared his regrets with me and the many dreams of one day being reconnected. He shared stories with me about my early years that I never knew.  He shared his life with me and welcomed me in.  His love was great and it was evident from the start.  For me it took a while.

And I trusted God again.  I allowed God to show me a glimpse of his plan.   And as always it is good.  As it says in Acts 1, He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or seasons that the Father has fixed by his own authority.

I didn’t know where this would go.  I didn’t know if I even needed it. But I did know that God asked me to do it.  So I did.

And what a blessing it has been.  I understand that the man I’ve known over the last 2.5 years may have mellowed and grown in wisdom and love as he aged but I’ve also witnessed and heard many talk about the man he was to them.  One who gave without expecting back.  One who genuinely sought out ways he could make a difference in your life.  One who even in his pain could lift up the spirits of others.  One who would go the extra mile to make sure you knew you were important to him. One who gave all the love he had to give.  This is what I also got from him.  And I know many sitting in this room today received the same.

Dad said to me many times, “I wish I had gotten up the nerve to contact you earlier” and my response would always be, “It was in God’s perfect timing”.   This perfect timing is proven in Ecclesiastes 3 & 8 where it says, For there is a time and a way for everything, although man’s trouble lies heavy on him andHe has made everything beautiful in its time.

I didn’t know what God was doing in my life 2.5 years ago but I was faithful.  Dad didn’t know what was going to happened when he made that call but he was faithful.  And God blessed us all for that faithfulness.  In Psalms 37 it says,Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

We’ve laughed many times. We’ve had serious conversations and some that were just plain silly.  He had pushed himself so he could spend time and enjoy his grands & great grands.  And I believe he found his way back to God by sharing a church pew with me.  I was honored to help him down on the alter at church so he could talk with His Lord a bit.  It was an honor to have had this time.

So even though our time together was short, my family, his family, our family grew in love with each other.   Yes, God knew what we needed.  Our family is forever changed and forever blessed because of dad.  He not only brought us the love that only he could give but he has given us the love of Jackie so we can continue to be blessed.

So today there is no regret because God’s plan is perfect.

And I end with Proverbs 10,The blessing of the Lord makes rich, and he adds no sorrow with it.

I am grateful. I am blessed. God’s promise full filled.

NAME

In today’s culture, it is all about what name do I fall under. It ranges from white, female, heterosexual, mom, wife, Lollie, Christian and republican, whose identity or value is determined by whatever name is attached to me.  Your name may be different or it may be the same.   But thankfully my name is not determined by culture it is determined by who God says I am.  That my identity is found in Him.  And my value is weighed only by His scales. Only if we all could live by this.

John 1:12 Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God

Genesis 1:27 So God created mankind in his own imagein the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

Psalm 139:14  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

And because I know that my name is not determined by culture all is well with my soul!