Author: seekproverbs31

As she remembers her child and weeps

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Romans 12:15

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.

1 Corinthians 12:26

If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

I have walked some paths with my family members and with my friends, that have been joyous and hard.   Each path that I have walked has taught me a lesson on relationships.  Some have shown me what it means to support even when I didn’t understand fully.  Some have taught me to show them a clearer path when their path was foggy.  Some were trying and some were easy.  But they all are necessary for the lesson that God wanted me to learn and the lesson that the one I was walking with was learning.

I know that the scripture is telling us that we should rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep, in a way that is not self serving.  To let it be about that person.   To not be desiring for the good to be mine and thankful that the bad is not mine.  Just to be with them in theirs.

I am seeing this scripture in a new light now as I’ve never had to walk the path that I’ve walked this past week. And will cherish each moment that I get to walk with my friend over the next months.   This path that I’m walking is with a friend who just lost her child in a horrific accident.  This path she has never walked and I have not either but this is a path that neither will soon forget.  I am willing to weep with her as she is weeping but I pray that we will be able to get to a place of rejoicing through it too.

I have no words of comfort for her.  Nothing seems suitable.  But I can sit.  I can hug her long and hard, as if to breathe for her.   I can give her time and that’s all I have to give.

God tells us that the Holy Spirit will intercede when we pray and we have no words.  I’m sure that he has heard my simple silence as I sought understanding, comfort and guidance from Him this week through this.  I pray that I will continue to hear and act when He calls me to respond.  I pray that I will learn from the weeping.

I know that He is hearing my sweet friend’s prayers too and will continue as the days, weeks and years pass and she remembers her child and weeps.

Lord, walk with me.  Amen!

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Complete

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Definition of Complete 

a: having all necessary parts, elements, or steps

As a child, I thought like a child. I have to admit that my childish thinking lingered, lingered on well into my adulthood.   But we only know what we know. Right?

As a young girl, I had my dreams.  Dreams of my night in shining armor, sweeping me off my feet and setting up house with white picket fence and all.  Then adding to that fairy tale dream, our babies and our family would be made perfect, would be complete.

Your dreams may have looked different but completeness is what we all dream of.  In our families, careers and material possessions.  When we have________ we will be complete.

And then I lived that dream and the dream didn’t come to completion as I had planned.  I think that you will know what I’m saying without me having to say it, because you also, I’m sure, have lived that dream.

I had all the necessary parts, the elements were all laid out and my steps were taken and then I realized, “I was living the dream of my making.  Trying to come to completion of my dream.  I was determining the steps and those steps were not those of God”.

Definition of Complete 

a: to make whole or perfect

Now, I have to admit that in my 5#’s those dreams, or others I’ve added, still creep in.  The dreams of “if only ______, then life will be complete”, wants to take over my mind.  But what is different now is that I know WHO is in control of my life.  And it’s not me!  I take things in stride and I seek to learn from all the minor details and major interruptions.  God has a plan!  He may not orchestrate all the fine details and major interruptions, because we (I) have free will to interject our plans, but in the end His plan will prevail.  Ant at that point, I’m convinced, my life will then be COMPLETE!

Revelation 22:20-21  He who testifies to these things says, “Yes, I am coming soon.”  Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.   The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God’s people. Amen.

I look forward to the day Lord when I sit complete next to You.   Help to be the best me for You while I’m here and be brave so that I can introduce Jesus to as many as possible. Amen!

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I don’t know how!

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I will never think of this phrase the same.   Saturday around 3:30 pm, I got some news that totally rocked my boat.  I went through the process of shock, disbelief and pain.  As I’m rushing to the hospital to be with a friend, I was crying out to the Lord, “I don’t know how to do this!”.   I don’t know what to say, I don’t know whether to show my grief or be stoic.  I simply just didn’t know.  That’s when I had to rely on this verse to show me……….

Proverbs 3:5-6 [Full Chapter]

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Truth is, there are no words, there are no perfect actions, there is nothing that can make this okay.
Once I arrived to the hospital and got to my friend, she said those same words, “I don’t know how! I don’t know how to do this!”.  This day my friend lost her 4 year old to a drunk driver.  There is no right way.  There is no step by step manual for this.
So all I can do is trust.  All she can do is trust that He will lead the way.  I will pray that she and her husband stay strong in the Lord.  They hold tightly to their faith and they allow each other to grieve in whatever way they need to.  That they will not shut each other out.  That they will be honest with those around them on the days that life is just not okay.  That they will be able to rest and that they will be able to smile.  That they will not let the child they have with them suffer this loss on his own.  That they will share in each others pain and they will someday be able to rejoice with each other again.
I don’t now how but I fully trust that God Does!
Lord, be with this family. Hold them tightly in your arms and give them comfort.  Help those around them, and me, know how. Amen!
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Crowd

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I’m an introvert, always have been and always will be.  That’s just my nature.  That’s why writing is such a joy for me.  A means to have my voice used without the risk of all that comes with speaking in a crowd.  So as an introvert, I “DO NOT LIKE CROWDS” or at least the kind that require me to be a part.

Over the last several years of being forced into crowded places, full of people I don’t know.  With a move, new job, new church, new community, I have had to lean more of Christ for my strength, my courage, my justifying and my protection, so the introvert is beginning to break out of her shell a bit.

Yet, crowds still overcome me at times.

Then I think of the other types of crowds, those that no one notices, no one cares.  Those that no one sees you at all.   As in the woman who had a bleeding problem and was and outcast in her crowd.  She, also found that healing from Him.   “If I could just touch him!”  “If I could just touch him!”

Mark 5:34 He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”

 Healing of the Woman click for full story

Oh how the healing could be if everyone in the crowd could have that faith to say, “If I could just touch him!”

Oh how the healing came to me when I said it!

Then there is the crowd that will be in the heavens.

Luke 22:69
But from now on, the Son of Man will be seated at the right hand of the mighty God.”
Even as an introvert, I’m so looking forward to that crowd.  The crowd that feels nothing like the crowds of this world.  The crowd where sin will be gone.  The crowd where there will not be pain written all over the faces.  The crowd that will be at peace and will have peace through out their souls.  Oh, how I look forward to that crowd.
Lord, thank you for seeing me in this crowded world.  Thank you for saying, I’m yours!  Thank you for giving me strength and courage to maneuver through my life of many hills and valleys. Thank you for healing me and redeeming my soul.  Help me to be a light that shines Your greatness so others can feel that healing in their crowed world. Amen!
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Why Me?

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Latasha “Tasha” Layne : I noticed her from the start. I don’t know, something drew me to her.  I have a feeling it was the Holy Spirit prompting me,  saying, “You need to have this girl in your life!”.  I’ve only had a few brief conversations with her at church and then enjoyed a spirit filled lunch with her this week and I can already tell we will be life long friends.  A kindred spirit! I’m so excited to be able to share her story with you.

My Journey of Faith

God has a plan for each of us. During the journey, we don’t see his works most of the time. At times we feel alone, question God and the existence of him and lose our hope and faith. We may not understand the Why’s on our journey but rest assured that each event or test is meaningful. You go through hardships, trials and tribulations before you even understand what they are. Then as you grow up, you’re left wondering the age-old question, Why me? I asked myself this question more times than I can count, and for over half of my life, I never received and answer.

May 12, 1987, Houston Texas…a random Tuesday, I entered this world. I don’t have pictures of that day to remind me of the love and excitement that surrounded me. I don’t have any memorabilia or videos. What I do have, is the remembrance of a broken family. At age 2 ½ , the state of Texas  came in and removed my siblings and I from our home. The reported abuse became too severe and the state took action. I have 3 full siblings and 5 half siblings, most of which I have no form of contact with. I was placed in a foster home for approximately 6 months, alone. Luckily, I was blessed enough to be adopted by the same family that one of my older siblings was also being adopted by. That is what brought my sister and I to Kentucky.unnamed (1)

I can remember at a young age, questioning God. I had a very hard time trying to wrap my head around why my life had to start off on such a rocky path. Why didn’t my BIO parents want me? Figuring out who I was became a running theme in my life. I had no background, I knew nothing of any family medical history, didn’t know who most of my siblings were and never truly knew my Bio parents. So, who was I? The daughter to drug addicts, the adopted girl from Texas or just a young girl trying to find her place in this crazy world.

Growing up in my house in KY had a lot of ups and downs. My parents, the ones who raised me, never had children of their own. Large family on both sides though. Each had a lot of siblings who then had kids as well. So, gatherings were always a BIG deal. I was your typical Daddy’s girl…he literally hung the moon in my eyes. My Mom and I had a very strained relationship for the most part. When it was good, it was real good..but when it was bad…well you get the idea. The older I got, the more the tension seemed to grow. I was struggling with identity issues, feeling worthless and hiding my true feelings of resentment, pain and confusion. So, instead of turning to people who would help me, I turned to other things to mask the pain. I looked for love and acceptance in all the wrong places and people. Alcohol became a staple in my life as well as relationships that always ended up at a dead end road. I did have a few close friends who I opened up to, but never the bad stuff…never the deep down, gut wrenching hurt I dealt with inside on a daily basis.

You know how everyone has life changing events that alter their whole world and rock them to their core?? Yea, I had several of those in a matter of 2 years. I am convinced that the Devil was trying to end me because he knew that in the future, I would have a HUGE heart for God. At age 17, I unknowingly entered into an abusive relationship…and when I say unknowingly, I mean; this guy masked it so well until he had me hooked. Then he showed his true colors and by then, it seemed too late to leave. Within that relationship was more abuse; physical, mental and sexual. He had beaten down any confidence I had left. My self-worth was practically non-existent and I was so broken, I felt it was beyond repair. But I kept a smile for the outside world to see, because that what I was expected to do. 8 months into the relationship, my Mom too me to my “female” doctor where I found out within a matter of weeks that I had the earliest form of Cervical Cancer. Talk about a punch to the gut. However, the blessing was that it was only on the surface..we caught it just in time.

Now, lets get to the part where the devil truly almost ended me. My Dad, he became sick and after numerous appointments and tests, we really didn’t have any answers. That is, until February 1, 2006, my world fell apart. My reason for existence left me…my Dad passed away from Stage 4 liver cancer. I was lost and for a while after this my life would go in a downward spiral of drinking, bad decisions and attempted suicide. I hated who I had become, I hated being surrounded by so many people but still feeling so alone. I had no answers, I couldn’t understand why God was punishing me, hadn’t I had enough??

At age 19, I found out I was pregnant and then married my daughters Dad (but divorced after 8 years of marriage). At age 20, I gave birth to a beautiful 8lb 6 oz little girl who I say was my saving grace, my new reason for living. It was my first experience at how amazing God was. How amazing she was and even through all my wrongdoings, HE decided I was worthy of this wonderful blessing. The love and bond that my daughter and I shared instantly, was and is unmatchable. I lived for her and I would die for her…and shortly after becoming a Mom of 2, I realized, that is exactly how God feels about us. He was born to be the Messiah, OUR Savior and he died for US. He took all the sin of the world and placed it on the cross with him. WOW! Was I worthy of such mercy and love? The answer to that, is YES!

Many others are like me, grew up trying to find their place in this world, doubting Gods love for us because of the relationships we have with others. Broken relationships, hurt from friends and family or hurt that that we have placed on ourselves, keep us from going down the path that God has lined out for us.  The funny thing is, the answer was there from the beginning. Our place IS with God. I am the daughter of THE KING! I am loved by someone who literally gave their life for me so that I may have eternity with him. (John 3:16) One misconception is that you can make God not love you, but that’s the furthest thing from the truth!! Nothing, and I mean nothing, can change Gods love for you. (Hebrews 13:8)

That misconception has haunted me throughout my journey of faith. The devil is always instilling fear, worry, doubt and confusion into my head and heart…but the stronger I become in my faith, the more I realize, those things aren’t of God! Those are NOT part of his character. God is Love, Grace, Mercy, Compassion, Joy, the list goes on and on. Sure, I had a rough life, there have been highs and lows, but those tests have become my testimony and the hurt and fear have helped lay the brick to my God filled foundation. I am and overcomer, I am not going under and the Devil has met his match. I don’t fight my battles alone anymore, God is in my corner fighting them with me and for me. What a great feeling it is, feeling confident and worthy and not letting fear consume me. I mean, what room does fear have when I lean on hope and when I cling to trust. What room does fear have when I walk by faith and rest in Gods comfort?

unnamed (2)God saved me, in every aspect of my life, he saved me. He restored my hope and faith. He has restored relationships and mended my completely shattered soul. After giving my life to him, I now KNOW all things with him, are possible. (Matthew 19:26). Sure, there are days I grow weary, I may stumble and fall, but in the Bible it states: “But those who trust in the Lord, will renew their strength”. (Isaiah 40:31) I have finally found my place in this crazy life and I no longer question my identity. In God, I have found a Father, a friend, and a companion. I thank him for the blessings and the hardships for they have made me who I am. I have realized that was a reason for my struggles, a purpose for my pain and a reward for my faithfulness. All I have to do is TRUST HIM. So, whatever is it you may be struggling with, know you don’t have to struggle alone. God is reaching his hand out for you, patiently waiting for you to find peace in him.

Stop:

What a blessing your have brought to me Lord.  Thank You!  There are so many that struggle with abandonment, rejections, abuse, drugs and other afflictions Lord but Tasha’s story is testament that You are still mightily at work in our lives.  I pray Lord that Your Spirit will work in me continuously so that I will be brave, compassionate, empathetic and loving to those who are hurting.  I also pray that You will continue to point me towards others who will love me and help me walk this path.  Amen!

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Rain

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I love rain!  If it’s raining, you can bet that you’ll find me on my porch.  Day or night, it doesn’t matter.  And I particularly love storms with lightening.  I know that sounds crazy, most are running for cover and shelter of a center room in their  homes.  Not me!  I want to get up close and personal with them.  What exactly does that say about me?

So I googled it!  Interestingly enough in the whole internet world I only found 1 post on why people like storms.  And I found it enlightening to my own personality.  This particular writer said obviously anyone can like storms but for him, he was a thinker, his mind never stopped but also he was an introvert so being alone in a storm was okay.  Ultimately he said that in storms he found peace.  And if I’d searched my soul instead of the internet, my soul would have said the same thing.  I too am a thinker and an introvert but mainly I too find peace in the gentle rain showers.  I find peace in the down pours.  I find peace in the lightening filled skies.  What I also find is that at the end of the rain storms the earth around me is cleansed.

Psalm 107:29

He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed.

But there are times when the rain storms of life, metaphorically speaking, are not so peace filled.  They can engulf you to the point that we can not breathe.  They can wash away any since of peace that we may have.   They may feel as if they will never end.  But what I find is at the end of that rain storm, if I am looking, I can find evidence that God was there with me.

Psalm 46:1 

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

I have found that the more rain storms I weather, the easier it is to find Him in the middle.  The easier it is to see the cleansing that he is doing in my life.

So I say to you my friend, look for Him in your rain storms of life.  Seek Him out for the cleansing that He wants for you.

Lord, I praise you for all that you are in my life.  I praise you for giving me the peace that I need in the middle of the storms.  I ask for  you to be with those who are walking in that storm now and that they will feel your presence among them.  Amen!

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Known & Never Changing

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Psalm 102:25-27

Of old you laid the foundation of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands. They will perish, but you will remain; they will all wear out like a garment. You will change them like a robe, and they will pass away, but you are the same, and your years have no end.

“I can always trust an unknown future to a Known & Never changing God.” by Lara Casey

What comfort this is to me.   In my 56+ years of life there is nothing that was never changing.  Many many things changed, some were welcomed and some were painful.  When I was introduced to HIM, my God, during my senior year of high school, I had no idea how this one change would effect my life.  Many many changes came and went but He was the one constant there with me.  I didn’t really understand all that He was doing in my life for a long time.  We all have moments, defining moments, when He shows himself more fully.

First major defining moment was during the divorce of my high school sweet heart. He was reaching for me and drawing me in closer to Him.  A few steps closer I became.

Then during the illness of our oldest son, God carried our boy smoothly through surgeries and treatments and ultimately healing.  He provided people to surround us, comfort us, provide for us and love us through it.  My trust grew stronger.

Still many changes………..  Jobs , empty nesting and the addition to a daughter-in-law.

Satan tried hard, really hard, to cause another change for us.  Marriage struggles, wall building, harsh words, bad behavior and it would have been easier to say “I’m done!”.  But He wouldn’t leave me, He settled in my soul through the Holy Spirit and kept me hanging on.  He gave me the courage to hang on.  He gave me the wisdom of how to change “me”.  He held our marriage together with His love because at the time, we didn’t have much.  He was steadfast and never changing in His plan for us.  I felt His presence and found the knowledge in His word through consistent prayer and time with Him.

More changes…..  Moves to unknown territory, to an unknown land, to an unknown people, to different, where we had to depend on each other and on Him alone.  He was faithful to us, He showed us the way and provided for us a path to travel.

So with all these changes and the changes that I’m sure are yet to come, one thing that I can be certain of is this…………….

“I can always trust an unknown future to a Known & Never changing God.” by Lara Casey in her book “Cultivate”

So rest in this promise, He will never leave you hanging, if you will hold on!

Thank You Lord for being the one constant in my life. Amen!

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Rush, Loyal or Both

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Well yes! I’m behind but maybe that was God’s design. I was out of town last Friday and it seemed that I just couldn’t get it together enough to write my “Loyal” post. Yes, it seems that my life this week has been in a “Rush”. And then when this weeks word popped up, I thought, “These words work perfectly together!
I know you’re probably wondering, how is that possible. They are such different words!

Proverbs 1:16

for their feet rush into evil, they are swift to shed blood.

 

When we think about “rush” it tends to always have a negative feel. In this world of “gotta get to done now!” We are always in a rush We rush down the road, rush through our days, rush our meals and rush our conversations just to get to the next thing. We are missing out on what could be. A beautiful field of wild flowers, a kind word from a coworker, a needed insight to our family’s day or a request for prayers from a friend who just learned some heart wrenching news. We rush…… we miss out and sometimes even sin because of it!

With so much rushing are we using any of it to “rush” to the arms of Jesus. Are we anxiously awaiting His arrival and marking our path out so it brings glory to Him? Are we?

Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting: “Hallelujah! For our Lord God Almighty reigns.

Hallelujah! Our Lord God Almighty reigns! And I am grateful.

Now with all this talk about rush, how does that fall in line with loyal. To be loyal we must be still long enough to build relationships. That means a relationship with our Lord and relationships with others. Loyal equals Time!

 

1 Corinthians 13:7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

 

I use the picture of my grandson with his companion for this post. Most people believe that dogs are the most loyal. What are the character traits of a dog? Protector, unconditional love and will stay be your side to the very end. That is what Jesus is for us!

Are we going to rush through life and miss out on what He has for us? Are we going to be loyal to Him by staying in His word and sharing His glory with others?

1 Corinthians 11:1 Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.

If you’re gonna rush, rush into His arms. Be a loyal soldier for Christ!

Lord thank You! Thank you for being patient with me. Giving me grace and being my loyal companion through a life that sometime, a lot of times, seems to be too rushed. Amen!

Cultivate

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2 Corinthians 9:6

Now this I say, he who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.
If you’ve spent any time at all on my blog you probably have noticed many pictures of my flower gardens.  I simply love my flowers.  I have lots of them and many varieties.  I have planted more than I have in the ground growing now but they withered away.  That could have been for many reasons, temperatures,  soil types, cramped spaces, not enough sun, or too much sun.  There is a variety of reasons those plants didn’t make it, they didn’t flourish.  Most of the time it was probably because of my lack of cultivating the land properly and making sure they had the right nutrients to survive.
Life is the same way.  I’ve spent many years allowing God to cultivate my life.   I spent many more trying to do the cultivating.  I’ve said yes when I should have said no.  I’ve said no when I should have said yes.  I’ve jumped in head first when I should have tested the waters first.  I’ve made assumptions without regards for others and in turn it caused death in relationships.  I’ve spoke my truth before I sought out HIS truth.  And I could go on and on.   I was going to be in control of my life.  I was going to bring in that good soil and mix up my own concoction and fix my life to be what I thought it should be.  But life is just like gardening.  You have to seek out the instructions for growing whatever it is you want to grow.
I’m currently reading (audio) a book by Lara Casey called “Cultivate” and it’s as if I could have been her main character.  Busyness, striving, searching for who I am and who I should be, not ever really listening to Him and letting Him show me where to go.  There is a quote in the book that says, “We don’t have to fix our lives, we just have to fix out eyes on HIM”.
But that means I had to stop and listen.  Seek and study. Be open to His design for me.  I am looking to Him to teach me and show me how to do life.
I’m getting a good grasp on the direction he is sending me and I have to watch myself not to jump ahead.  I don’t want to sow sparingly but I want it to be His sowing in my life that reaps bountifully.
So I say to you…………..SLOW DOWN…………..LISTEN………….BE OPEN………….FOR HIM!
Lord, thank you for doing Your work in my life. Amen

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Hidden

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Luke 12:2

Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known.

Am I the only one?  Well as I type this question, I know without a doubt that I’m not!  It doesn’t matter what comes after “am I the only one, what”.  What has filled that space?  It could be a sin that I have committed or a sin that was committed against me, either way, most likely, I am NOT the only one.  So why do we try to hide it?

Like the little tree frog in the picture of the bird house, he thought he was being sly.  That would not be somewhere we would generally find a tree frog, so he figured he was safe there.  But Nope!

Over the last several years God’s uncovered many things about me.  Some of them involved others and some of them were just between me and God.  There came a time, God’s time, that the hidden needed to be made known.   It was painful to rip that covering off but a necessary process for healing and redemption.  The fabulous part about the whole process is that each time it reminded me of the Love and Forgiveness that the Lord has for me.  Once uncovered it can no longer weigh me down!  As for the hidden that involved others, those were times of action on my part to show HIS forgiveness and allow them to work on their own redemption.  That process is not for me to do, it’s between them and God.

So I write these words to encourage you to allow God to uncover those things in your life that need to be revealed.  To seek forgiveness and redemption for those things that are weighing you down.  Healing will never come with a covering over it!

Lord, thank You for giving Your Son so that I can find healing through the uncovering.  Amen!

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