It’s me again with a little bit of “Boundary” talk. It it so confusing. Boundaries are good for me but harmful to others, are they? Boundaries are selfish, really? Boundaries are just a way to get what I want and not give the other what they want, right? All though the end result of setting boundaries may appear to say YES to all the above questions, that is not what they are intended. They are a form of protection. People we love and say they love us do not always accept our boundaries and causes harm to us. Sometimes we use manipulation to get what we want from others and in that case we are stepping over their boundaries even if they don’t know what boundaries are. Then we have the struggle of how to forgive someone that has harmed us. Should we allow them immediately back into our lives? The answer to this is a tough one. It depends what type of harm they have or could cause. But it’s safe bet that they should show steps of repentance and show proof that they want to stay on that path. Is it wrong to forgive them but say no to them being part of our life? Well, it’s never wrong to forgive. Forgiveness is not about the other person, it’s about us. So always forgive! And in some instances allowing them to be a part of our lives is just not a possibility.
Below is a snip it of what Henry Cloud says about Repentance:
Repentance means someone has had a change of mind about their behavior and shows it by changing direction. They turn around and do things differently. Their turnaround may have missteps in it, but you can usually see whether someone has changed or not. If someone is really sticking to the plan and fails and then repents and gets back into the plan, be patient. If repentance has no change of direction, go back to setting limits.
You can be patient with some things while they are being resolved without giving the other person freedom to hurt you. Patience doesn’t mean that you let down your boundaries. Some things, such as physical or drug abuse, are too hurtful and dangerous to be around to just forgive and forget. Forgive and remember to be careful while you are being patient. With less serious things, if the pattern is being addressed, forgive and forget.
Here’s a snip it of what the bible says about it.
Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out,
The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.
And Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.j
So all this to say. Love others but love yourselves too. Forgive doesn’t always mean forget.
Lord thank You! Amen!