Honest realizations about my relationships.

God has been working on me over the last 5 years but particularly over the last several months.  This journey has had several paths to travel and has been difficult at times. He brought 3 words to me as I prayed to him as a reminder to me.

He will:

Provide

Protect

Prepare

  • Satan wants to and can destroy our relationships if we aren’t intentional about asking God to provide us wisdom to see Satan’s hand, protect us from Satan’s snare and prepare us with His armor to fight Satan’s attacks. It is our choice, God gives us that free will, which direction we run to, God’s or Satan’s.
  • I have taken some time over the last 6-8 months to really evaluate my relationships.
  • Doing some self-reflection on
    • The relationships that I have
    • Why I value them
    • How I show up in their life
    • How they show up in my life
  • I have realized and admit that I have not always shown up as God would have wanted.
  • I’ve come to a place to recognize how the move to Kentucky, at 51, has challenged me in my relationships.
    • NC relationships were built on “time” spent in good and hard times, there is deep trust.
    • KY relationships have been built on “need” or “desire”
      • Extended Family (even the dysfunctional) is a high value
      • are new & uncharted, trust has not had time to grow
      • their need to add me to the circle doesn’t have the same “need” value as mine because most have all their family here and already have their circles built
  • I’ve realized that I’ve had the expectation that relationships will show up in my life the way I feel like I show up in theirs and that is not a fair expectation. But because I had that expectation, I’ve started to doubt my value as a person/friend which has led to me start to isolate and withdraw.
  • Started because of a close family issue, how I handled that and what my part was and should be in trying to reconcile it. This started me on a journey of turning to God more and people less. This has not been an easy or comfortable journey because of my “need” for relationships.
  • I’m getting clarity:
    • It’s okay for me to need relationships.
    • It’s okay for me to have expectations of my relationships.
    • It’s okay for me to receive correction and give correction.
    • It’s okay for me to need to be encouraged and even sometimes challenged to explore the hard places God may be sending me.
    • It’s okay for me to need and expect grace and mercy because I’m human
    • It’s not okay for me to put my relationships before or above my relationship with Jesus.
    • It’s not okay for me to not communicate my expectations or needs.
    • It’s not okay for me to receive or give correction without love being the motivator
    • It’s not okay for me to place a higher value on my relationship’s opinion of God’s calling for me then that of God himself.
    • It’s not okay for me to stay in relationships that don’t show grace and mercy.

If you are unsure of where God is leading you in your relationships then do some self-reflection first and research on how Jesus interacted with those he was in relationship with. Here are a few resources to start you off.

Read the book of Proverbs https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%201&version=NIV

https://www.biblestudytools.com/bible-study/topical-studies/what-does-the-bible-say-about-friendship.html

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/the-gospel-and-friendship/

https://applygodsword.com/4-signs-god-is-telling-you-to-end-a-friendship/

https://biblereasons.com/bad-friends/

Jesus is my role model for relationship building.

Lord, I’m grateful that you have never and will never give up on me. I’m grateful that you have carried me through some hard relationships and brought me out on the other side stronger. I’m grateful that you’ve be patient with me as I learned I need to lean on you more. Help me be who you created me to be. Help me be who I need to be to those you place in front of me. Help me to stay humble. Help me be kind. Help me create peace. Help me find joy. Help me show goodness & faithfulness. Help me to be gentle and self-controlled. But most importantly help me love when love isn’t necessarily given back. Help me have the courage and faith needed to go where you send me. Help me to not shy away from the hard. Amen

Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Click to listen to Firm Foundation (He Won’t)

2 thoughts on “Honest realizations about my relationships.

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